Friday, January 05, 2007
Worst of the worst of the worst. Sir.
JR Radcliffe (of Trampoline Bear fame) and I are going to begin some collaborative work, in an effort to revive part of what used to be the Tri-Blog Conglomerate Powerhouse Nation.
Only three of you should remember that.
We're a big fan of top ten lists, so we're going to start off that way, with the first entry being a compilation of the 10 worst free agent signings of the baseball offseason. In a year of absolute fiscal nimroddery, there were plenty of horrible signings to debate. In fact, the number of good signings can probably be counted on one hand. We'll use two to count the worst, however.
While the offseason isn't over just yet, and Jim Hendry could still sign Cliff Floyd to a four-year, $56 million deal to block Matt Murton, we think it's safe to go ahead and write this list. Enjoy, and sorry if your team is represented.
1. Gary Matthews Jr. (Anaheim), 5 years, $50 million
Seriously. You've got to be kidding me. Let's go ahead and review Gary Matthews Jr's career. His father was a major league player. He excelled as a prep athlete based on his sheer athleticism. He got to the majors and found he couldn't hit a curveball, slider, cutter, splitter or changeup. He didn't walk more than once a week. Then ESPN invented Web Gems. Sometimes, GMJ would make outlandish plays and they would be shown to millions of viewers while an East Coast smarm-provider cooed such phrases as "Get in my belly!" over the highlight. Then, in 2006, Matthews had two and a half very lucky months at the plate while making a few more great catches. And after the season, this 31-year old fourth outfielder with a career .755 OPS was signed to a five-year contract by senile Art Moreno, who had promised the Angels fans "a big acquisition" this offseason. Well, this is it, Anaheim. My condolences. -EG
2. Gil Meche (Kansas City), 5 years, $55 million
It has become the poster child of wild, ridiculous spending this offseason. Kansas City wanted to make a "splash" and prove they were serious about shelling out the cash to compete, and believe me, it requires a certain extra somethin' somethin' if you want to get anyone with a pulse to play for Kansas City. But to offer $11 million a year to a pitcher with a career ERA of 4.65 is hilarious, not to mention someone who has reached 150 innings exactly twice in his six seasons. If you're stupid and think wins matter, he has 55 career wins, which was conveniently rewarded by a cool million per victory ... and it’s asking a lot to see him reach the 11-win plateau in 2007 to make that current breakdown hold true. He walks too many people. He’s not even left-handed. Did I mention that he’s bad? For ELEVEN million a year. The following is a list of pitchers – who have already signed at least one multi-million contract in their careers – that make significantly less, circa half that value per year: John Lackey, Dan Haren, Rich Harden, Mark Prior, Brandon Webb, Jake Peavy, Jake Westbrook, Dontrelle Willis, Brett Myers, Justin Verlander, Mark Buehrle. -JR
3. Juan Pierre (Los Angeles), 5 years, $44 million
I remember the Juan Pierre era in Chicago. Good times. A lot of ground balls to second base. Also, a lot of runners tagging up and going from first to second on fly balls to center field. But Pierre did lead the National League in hits. Problem is, that means next to nothing because Dusty Baker allowed Pierre to rack up 750+ plate appearances last year. And only 33 percent of those resulted in him getting on base. And Pierre then threw away 20 of those by getting caught stealing -- the highest total in baseball. Additionally (Pierre is so flipping bad that I'm running out of transition words), he compiled a .388 slugging percentage in 2006. Carlos Zambrano's slugging percentage from 2006? That's right, it was .397. So, what exactly are the Dodgers paying for? Oh. Speed. I think they could have gotten a better deal in Columbia. -EG
4. Danys Baez (Baltimore), 3 years, $19 million
I'll be brief. There's a fair argument that NO reliever in baseball is worth $6 million a year. And if one is, his name is not Danys Baez (it's probably JJ Putz, simply because of the jersey sales). Batters hit .282 against him last year, and he spent most of the season trying to get command of his fastball. So now Baltimore has the honor of paying him $6 million for 70 innings of league-average baseball. If they're lucky. -EG
5. Vicente Padilla (Texas), 3 years, $33.75 million
Even though he looks like he’s a member of AARP, Padilla doesn’t turn 30 until late in the 2007 season, so a three-year deal for a former All-Star is conceivably reasonable. But while people make fun of Adam Eaton’s contract at 24 million for three years, Miguel Batista’s for 25 or Jason Marquis’ for 21, here is Padilla getting 33.75!!! Hey, why not? Because in 2003, Padilla was good. And that wasn’t so long ago, was it? Over the past three seasons, Padilla has a very mediocre 4.57 ERA, though he was sixth in the American League last year in games started (and first in hit batsmen. It’s nice to have that kind of intimidation.). Eaton had a 4.56 in that span (though he was injured for most of it), Marquis had 4.59 (counting a sensationally awful 2006) and Batista had 4.58 (though with some limited innings due to bullpen work in 2005). For some reason, Padilla was worth an extra 10 million to Texas, who must have been confused because "David Palmer" is listed as one of the top five most similar pitchers by Baseball Reference, and they obviously thought Padilla had the coolness factor of comparing to a "24" dead president. -JR
6. Jason Marquis (Chicago), 3 years, $21 million
I hyperventilate when I think about this contract. Yes, Jason Marquis was a good pitcher as little as two years ago. And he's still relatively young. And sinkerball pitchers have some success at Wrigley Field. But. It's the principle of the thing. You don't -- you just don't -- give a pitcher a contract like this just two months after he finishes taking a season-long dump all over National League pitching mounds. Jason Marquis' dump stank to the tune of a 6.02 ERA, a 1.52 WHIP, a .289 batting average against, 35 home runs allowed and an unbelievable 96-to-75 K/BB ratio. I'm also discouraged to see that "wins" were used as a barometer for his past success. Jim Hendry, I sympathize with your angioplastic plight, but wins don't mean anything. Don't you know that the only reason Marquis won 14 games last year was because he had David Eckstein on his team? Without the little inspirational lightning rod around, Marquis will be lucky to win five games. -EG
7. Barry Zito (San Francisco), 7 years, $126 million
It won’t immediately be considered the worst of deals, simply because the player in question does happen to be very good. Zito has a career 3.55 ERA and 1.25 WHIP, which is admirable even if he was assisted by the cavernous Oakland Coliseum. Playoff experience, dominant stuff, a suitable strikeout to walk ratio, yadda yadda yadda ... he’s got all the things that makes a pitcher sexy, and he’s just young enough (28) where a seven year deal isn’t hysterical. But 126 million makes him the highest-paid pitcher EVER, and seems to set an irresponsible mark that would not have been matched by any team if docked approximately 30-40 million. WHO WERE THE GIANTS BIDDING AGAINST? It’s the last dagger in the coffin of fiscal responsibility this offseason. From now on, any pitcher who’s ever had repeated success will become capable of purchasing small commonwealths, like Guam or Asia. -JR
8. JD Drew (Boston), 5 years, $70 million
Just think how much cash JD would have gotten if he'd have averaged more than 118 games played during his career. Let's start a pool to see which ailment will sideline him first, and how early Boston fans will start to boo him. I say the first owie is an Achilles on May 27; the first boos will come on June 3. -EG
9. Miguel Batista (Arizona), 3 years, $25 million
For some reason, when I hear the name "Miguel Batista" I think of a young, hard throwing pitcher. This is why I’ll never be a general manager, or even someone of value in society. He will be 36 on Opening Day according to the current information, having been signed back in 1988 by the Montreal Expos. He’s probably somewhere in his mid-40s. He will have died of old age by the time his three years and 25 million are expired, which is a pleasant chunk of change for someone who has numbers that make you wonder how he hasn’t quietly retired yet. He’s a career 68-79 with a 4.46 ERA and a lousy 1.47 K:BB, which is much worse than soft-tosser Jeff Suppan, for example. He did go over 200 innings for the first time last season, surprising since he was coming off a season as a bullpen guy in Toronto, with 31 saves. He also finished in the American League’s top 10 in earned runs allowed (eighth), hits allowed (eighth), walks allowed (fifth) and led the league in wild pitches. Weeeeee! -JR
10. Adam Eaton (Philadelphia), 3 years, $24.5 million
Some highlights (hat tip to the Texas Rangers media guide and web site) of Adam Eaton’s career: On disabled list, July 6, 2001-end of season. On disabled list March 27-September 1, 2002. On disabled list May 5-20, 2003. On disabled list June 16-August 6, 2005. On disabled list August 5-26, 2005. On disabled list, April 4-July 25, 2006. I think Adam Eaton might be injury prone. And while I’m curious to look up just how many starts he missed in his career vs. starts he actually made, I think I’ll save myself the leg work and just scoff at the fact that the Phillies wanted to give this guy 24.5 million over three years, despite the added fact that even when he’s healthy, he has a 4.40 ERA. Sure, suppose the stars align and he has no arm problems and pitches like everyone envisions he could (have) ... then he might be worth a spring training invite to someone. But to lay down eight million a year for an injury guarantee over three years, making him the third highest paid player on the team, will probably be the reason the team will be unable to afford both Chase Utley and Ryan Howard when their ABSURDLY cheap deals get bigger. What makes it stranger is that the Phillies gave up on similar pitcher Randy Wolf, whose injury history only dates back a couple years and whose career ERA is around 4.21, with a similar K:BB ratio as Eaton, and the Dodgers paid Wolf the same amount per year … for one year only. -JR
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I suppose Guam would be a more viable purchase target for a newly rich young pitcher because of its debt-ridden owners (us), but let's get real. The estimated GDP in 2000 was $3.2 billion. And despite our ownership of Hawaii, Guam still occupies a fairly important strategic position for the American Navy in the North Pacific. Also, did you know the Guam legislature is a unicameral body consisting of only 15 members? In conclusion, I can't believe anyone's thinking about baseball when so much awesome is happening in basketball and hockey (and football too to some lesser extent). The end.
Well, great. Now I just feel terrible about myself. And right before bed, too.
If it makes you feel better, I prefer the post here on your board than on JR's because yours has pretty pictures.