Friday, January 19, 2007
ESPN loves America's team
New England Patriots vs. Indianapolis Colts
Formulaic values: Peyton Manning won a game + Tom Brady was terrible + Note: Send thank-you card to Marty Schottenheimer + Peter King hasn't slept in days + Vinatieri booting his old team + NFL's new rivalry + Colts at home + Wayne's World + You've still got the best arm in the neighborhood
MMC says: Colts 26, Patriots 17
Breakdown: No matter which team wins this game, we're going to get predictably fawning columns from the media. The only two possible storylines are
1. Peyton finally breaks through and cements himself as a "real" star.
2. Never bet against the Patriots in the playoffs.
And either way, I'm probably going to be a little bit annoyed. However, the first option is far less aggravating than the second. And I think that's where we're going to wind up. The Patriots did not look good last week against the Chargers and needed a series of fluky plays to win the game. The Colts, meanwhile, have been playing well on both sides of the ball. I think people are forgetting that this team started the season 9-0 when they were healthy. Well, they're healthy now. And they're going to the Super Bowl.
New Orleans Saints vs. Chicago Bears
Formulaic values: New Orleans was hit very hard by a hurricane + You are a terrible heathen if you don't root for them, even if you live in Chicago
MMC says: Bears 24, Saints 13
Breakdown: Wow. Look at those ESPN predictions. I know this is the second consecutive day that I've complained about the lack of respect for the Bears, but I don't think my incredulity is that out of line. The Bears are 14-3 right now. And they're going to be 15-3 and going to the Super Bowl after this game. And that's for the simple reason that talent wins football games, and natural disasters don't.
If the Bears lose on Sunday, it'll be because the Bears' coaching staff does a terrible job of preparing the team for the game. That's the only way it'll happen. And unfortunately, I can also see it happening because of Lovie Smith's arrogance in game preparation. If the Bears win, it'll simply be because they have the best defense the Saints have seen all year -- even though it's missing two of its best players. The Saints have only had two games this year against top-10 defenses, both against Carolina. They went 0-2 in those games. And the Bears' defense is better than Carolina's, in every facet imaginable.
The key to the game is the Bears getting pressure on Drew Brees. The Saints allowed the fourth-fewest sacks in the NFL this year, so they do a good job keeping Drew's sewed-up body off the ground. The Bears' pass rush has been a bit lacking lately, so they will need to find creative ways to get to the quarterback (Tank Johnson has some ideas, which he's keeping in a holster under his jersey). In doing that, they can disrupt the passing game a bit and then key on stopping the McAllister/Bush combination, which should be enough to slow the game down.
See that? Those are all reasons why the Bears will win. And none of them are based on the weather.
Although, it is supposed to be cold and snowy on Sunday. And I hear Reggie Bush doesn't like the cold. All right then.
Bear down.
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I'm cheering for the hurricane.
And by "hurricane," I mean "hilarious breakdown by Rex Grossman, only to be saved by no fewer than three defensive touchdowns."
Actually, by "hurricane," I mean "your mom."
Gayaux Bears. In French, Bears are "Les ourses." You could say "this is our(ses) time." But nobody would get it.
I'm drunk.