Monday, December 04, 2006

Hibachi!

I'll be in a padded white room within four years.  Hibachi


This is just a brief note, but I think that everyone should learn more about Gilbert Arenas. Here are some notes about Gilbert:

∴ He has an air filtration system in his house that keeps the air thinner than normal, so Gilbert always feels like he is above sea level.
∴ He plays online poker during halftime of games.
∴ He owns, by his estimate, more than 7,000 DVDs.
∴ He never, ever goes out on the road, because he doesn't like leaving his hotel room in strange cities. He says he's gone out "six times in five years."
∴ Often practices at the Wizards' facility at 2 a.m.
∴ Most of his diet consists of Wendy's, Burger King, or other fast food places.
∴ When he gets a new cell phone, he calls it from his house phone and leaves voicemail after voicemail until the inbox fills up. That way, no one can leave him a message.
∴ Sleeps on the couch in his house.

These sound like Chuck Norris facts, but they aren't. These are things that a real, live, very visible human being does. I'm concerned.

Now, Gilbert has started yelling out "Hibachi!" every time he releases a shot. Literally, he gets the ball, screams "Hibachi!" and then releases the ball toward the basket. This is from a guy who will sometimes take 30 shots per game.

This is what Gilbert had to say about it:
"You know, a hibachi grill gets real hot. That's what my shot's like, so I've been calling it that: 'Welcome to the hibachi.'"

Of course, Gilb's averaging 25 points, 4 boards and nearly six assists a game this season, so, uhh ... whatever works, I guess.

Posted by Eli @ 8:41 AM

Read or Post a Comment

Eli, I love your blog. It is Deadspin, with a better tone and without English Premier League soccer updates. I mean that in a good way. Also, you have great hair that I would like to smell.

Posted by Blogger JR @ 4:47:00 PM #
 

Thank you, JR. My heart is very full right now. So is my stomach, and that's due to the bag of Swedish fish I just ate.

Did you know those things are made in Canadia? I feel cheated.

Posted by Blogger Eli @ 5:18:00 PM #
 

To add to the Gil notes, I guess a big reason he never left his hotel room on the road was that his baby momma was trying to subpoena him for like a year and a half over some child support drama, even threatening to serve him during games and stuff. At one point, Gil got wind that a lawyer was waiting for him in Sacramento, where the Wiz had a game, so Gil skipped the game (official lie was he was sick) and caught up with the team after they'd left the Golden State. If I remember right this was all in his Washington Post profile I linked to on ATR a while back. Required reading for hoop heads. Also, it'll make you cry. Bet on it.

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous @ 3:38:00 PM #
 

Nice find, Hersh.

Of course, we're all somber now because of it. But that's okay -- it's Tuesday. Tuesdays suck.

Man, imagine how that would have played out if they served him WHILE HE WAS SHOOTING A FREE THROW. And he had to just sit and wait for it. Crazy stuff.

Posted by Blogger Eli @ 3:57:00 PM #
 

Is there an opposite to a "hoop head?" Just wondering.

Posted by Blogger lonewolf @ 4:25:00 PM #
 

"Drew Wolf"

Posted by Blogger Eli @ 4:45:00 PM #
 
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